MURDER ON THE PIZZA EXPRESS
Misha Lovelace has become the latest victim of a notorious serial killer who buried his victims in junk food. A city gardener discovered Lovelace’s dead body drowned in egg yolk on top of a rotten pizza. The cause of death is still unknown but the authority presumes that Lovelace might have been raped before being murdered; they found mysterious white substance around Lovelace’s thighs, which could be either sperm or mozzarella cheese.
TIME MACHINE
Joko is on a mission to invent a time machine so he can go back in time and abort himself inside his mother’s womb.
FROGMAN
Freddy has a peculiar hobby of swallowing random objects and monitoring how long it takes him to excrete the objects out. One day, Freddy decides to swallow a lab frog alive… It seems like the frog doesn’t want to get out and lives inside him now.
BABYQ
Every time Billy sees an adorable cute lil’ baby, he can’t help but wonder how delicious they would taste with Grandma’s signature homemade BBQ sauce. Dilemma strikes when his baby sister is born.
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BABYQ
Every time Billy sees an adorable cute lil’ baby, he can’t help but wonder how delicious they would taste with Grandma’s signature homemade BBQ sauce. Dilemma strikes when his baby sister is born.
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This story idea is shortlisted in the Watdefak Movie contest. Please help by voting for me! The idea with the most amount of votes will be made into a theatrical film. There’s nothing like watching a cute lil’ baby being barbecued on the big silver screen, right? Obviously this is not for the mentally sane. So if you’re sick in the head, help me turn this idea into a real movie - every vote counts and it takes no more than 1 minute of your time, I promise.
The website is in Indonesian but don’t worry, it’s super easy to vote! <voting ends on July 16th>
Here’s how:
Thank you!
iLUSH
Controversial German porn extraordinaire Uwe Bosch has just officially announced that he’s chopping off his signature all-natural afro pubes!
It’s been widely reported that eye-makeup giant iLUSH has been eyeing his bush for months now, though it’s still a mystery what the brand plans to do with the bush. Rumor has it that iLUSH is producing a limited edition premium faux eyelashes line using Bosch’s pubic hair.
A source close to the situation tells us that Bosch is reportedly demanding an 8-digit paycheck in trade of his extremely overgrown pubes that make him a worldwide sensation. Rep. from iLUSH has refused to comment on the matter although Bosch did post a tweet (deleted) that he’s “sexcited with the offer I can’t refuse”. Have both sides finally reached an agreement then?
Natural hair fauxlashes are growing in popularity these days. More and more beauty companies are ditching the synthetic materials and turn to natural hair. Besides occasionally poking your eyelids, synthetic lashes are much heavier and they tend to make your eyes droopy over time. Beauty experts would agree though, that the texture of pubic hair is very similar to natural human eyelashes; they make better false eyelashes than the hair from the head because they don’t shine as much when cast in light, thus giving it a more natural look.
Would you wear faux eyelashes made of pubic hair?
HAMLET BENTLEY
Hamlet Bentley the pig lover is a man who treated his pigs as his own children. When his beloved pig Spamela Anderson died right after giving birth to 8 cute little piglets, Hamlet tried to breastfeed the newborns because he doesn’t believe in formula-feeding his “babies”. Needless to say, Hamlet failed to produce any breast milk.
Conveniently for him, his next door neighbor Mimi was fully pregnant and obviously lactating. Mimi was selfish and hesitant to help him breastfeed the piglets. In a desperate attempt to feed the starving sucklings, Hamlet didn’t think twice before knocking Mimi down with a spatula and kidnapped her.
Ideally, the piglets would suck Mimi’s tits dry while she passed out and Hamlet would return Mimi back to her house after the piglets were full and Mimi wouldn’t suspect anything odd when she regained her consciousness. It would be as if she had just woken up from an afternoon nap.
Only that was not what happened.
Mimi’s water broke just as they arrived at Hamlet’s pad.
THESIS
A psychology student enrolls herself into an insane asylum for her thesis research, only to discover that she has more things in common with the mentally-disturbed residents who insist that they’re actually the doctors and nurses before the lunatics took over and became in charge.
Who should she believe?
I LOVE YOU MORE
DENISSE: I love you.
CHARLIE: I love you too.
DENISSE: I love you more.
CHARLIE: No, I love you more.
DENISSE: No, I do.
CHARLIE: No baby, I do.
DENISSE: Don’t be silly. I love you more.
CHARLIE: Who’s the silly one?
DENISSE: You are. Silly-billy.
CHARLIE: But I love you more.
DENISSE: No, I love you more.
CHARLIE: No. I do.
DENISSE: No, darling. I do.
CHARLIE: Stop being silly. I love you more.
DENISSE: No. I said it first.
CHARLIE: Fine. You love me more.
DENISSE: Now, could you pass me the hairdryer, darling?
CHARLIE: Here you go, dear.
*BANG!!!*
CHARLIE: I love you more. Game over, baby.
MAMA ROACH
Rossa is reading ‘Nigella’s Cookbook’ while taking a dump in her bathroom when suddenly a cockroach decides to crawl up and sneak into her cute little arse hole to lay its eggs.
RAW
Welcome to RAW, where diners can experience and savor the freshest human meat, prepared by the restaurant’s masterchefs while the human object is still alive. Upon arrival, guests are taken to a dungeon where they can select their human object. The selected human object is then given partial anesthetic so they can’t move or feel anything but they are very well aware and they can see whatever that’s going on. The object’s meat and internal organs are mostly eaten raw with over 180 kinds of special house-made sauces. Be prepared to fork out $50,000 up to $100,000 per human body. Children objects are also available upon advanced request.
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“It’s a very niche market. Not everyone eats human meat, let alone raw human meat. The concept is fairly new, some people are still quite shocked by it but I’m sure it will catch on.” - Xavier Kutt (General Manager of RAW)
“I just love watching the horror in her face as I pull the intestine out of her belly and chew it off. Very sexy!” - Johnny Monsidine
“I couldn’t do it the first time. I couldn’t bare the thought of eating anything alive. But I just couldn’t stop after my first bite. Help!” - Meryl White
“This is ridiculously good, it should be illegal.” - Jose de Silvanero
“They say the cock is a delicacy and it is indeed… especially knowing where it’s been.” - Regina Spica
“C’est magnifique! Personally I love it au naturel, the blood itself makes a très très très tasty dipping sauce. They don’t have this in France, I don’t think.” - Emmanuelle Faure
